04/02/2025

someone drew fanart of a recent god tier thing i did and i'm lowkey losing my mind over it, i consider this a HUGE win in terms of how solid of a design it is

i recently did this painting, i consider it a sort of make-up piece for a similar one from around the same time last year (not showing it, all you need to know is that i fumbled the bag HARD on the shading job and it just came out super streaky and unblended) and i am extremely proud of it

however i did not consider that at some point. i would become fanart good. so this is an extremely welcome surprise that i'm overjoyed to see

the fanart in question:

imagine me giggling like a teenage girl at this. grateful as shit but also this is a huge motivation boost

07/02/2025

you ever eat something greasy then start to feel the grease in your pores, then wash your face and then it's too dry. currently experiencing that rn

anyways the v:tm thing is tonight and i am SO excited to play my little whore son, will probably make a second post when it's done

08/02/2025

last night was AMAZING, our GM did so fucking good for her first time ever running a tabletop, with only a handful of criticisms she took extremely well! i'm still figuring out how to play caspian (my beloved little toreawhore) and be a little less giggly so i can be a little more effective, but i still had a really fun time.

some funny things that happened in no particular order:

lala's (our coterie's ventrue) immediate reaction to her penthouse being burnt down being "my yuri :(" while felix (nosferatu, the competent one) was taking a BIG motherfuckin slurp from a thing of coconut water
lala then having to explain to jacob (ministry catholic priest, we all just call him j. freaky or jesus boy) what yuri is. he said something VERY homophobic and got judging looks from everybody else in the coterie
j. freaky introducing himself by saying he was gonna save caspian, while caspian was having to explain to lala that he, and i quote, "imprinted on me like a duckling and i can't do anything about it"
caspian trying to break into a house we were tasked with breaking into, rolling a bestial failure, and ripping the window out of the wall with a roar so loud it woke the neighbors and shook the vent felix was hiding in
the coterie just adopting abigail (tremere, killed her abusive ex boyfriend) as soon as they found her

it was great and i cannot wait for session 2

11/02/2025

so. filegarden is having a tad bit of a stroke at the moment. as shown by my site being jank as SHIT right now. a lot of other people have reported outages, and i rely on it VERY heavily for practically all the assets on my site as well as on my spacehey, so hopefully the issue gets resolved quickly.

i made sure to host this screenshot with my site's pages so it's still visible while filegarden is down.

18/02/2025

so i have several rapid fire updates on top of filegarden being restored.

to start off, my brother visited this past weekend and among some other more important stuff like a joint physical for the both of us (which i will elaborate on later), we actually had a pretty great board game night as a family and afterwards he showed us the first 3 episodes of common side effects, which was good as SHIT. the only disappointing thing there was the ending of the hunt a killer we did (the best friend? really? i know it was easy but all signs were pointing towards the boyfriend, it felt like such an unnecessary and stupid twist)

i also started doing troll sprites again and had some late night thoughts about my trollsona, since i scale his age with mine and would've hit alternia exile age about 7-8 months ago

i ended up going in the route of the world's smallest and most disappointed, disloyal, and unwilling subjugglator you've ever fucking seen (the alternate option was making him a twitch streamer, which fits better personality-wise but makes a little less sense based off my understanding of how the empire works). fucking HATES his job. ends up becoming a massive dissenter to the empire, fucks off, and does his own thing. his ancestor is extremely proud of him for being a little wild card that hates his superiors

as for the sprites, i just did two today: troll versions of evan EMH and tim marble hornets based off some doodles i colored a while back. really proud of tim's, someone said they had to do a double take because of how accurate to homestuck's actual sprites it looks. i did two variants of evan's, one placed roughly at the start of EMH and the other being around after the jim thorpe incident with the grown out hair and stuff (had an idea with one horn being cracked at the start and fully breaking off after his fight with the rake)

and now the meat and potatoes: the actual physical. i am in good health physically for the most part (very good news), however i cannot say as much on the mental front.

i was less afraid to kick my mom out this time and answer the personal questions, and ended up elaborating on a lot on the mental health screening from the last one. the big thing is probably the fact that my doctor is now aware that i've been rawdogging my honestly pretty horrible mental health, grief trauma, and ADHD for almost a decade and half now and that the complete lack of support led to those issues getting a lot worse than they would've been had i actually gotten that support when i needed it, and i got the number to a behavioral specialist (mostly because i wanna get back on meds before college starts because i will actually need it then). i was recommended to actually talk about that shit and establish a relationship with a therapist and stuff.

mostly only worth noting because it confirmed everything i already figured out through reminding myself what good is supposed to feel like, plus i have a reason other than just improving my mental health to actually go