BEHOLD. MY CHILDREN.

THE BEAST

actual name aiame. as of now she is 12, and she is my favorite sassy little noodle

hates her little brother, loves being pet on her head (and will bite you if you try to touch her elsewhere). sometimes will grab your arm to make you keep petting her.

prefers to sit either on chairs or against the wall like a person. sometimes will just stand up on her hind legs. we like to joke about her being a "people," as one of my friends put it.

we don't know why she's like this. she always liked doing people things from the moment we adopted her and she never stopped. she's just odd like that and we adore her

really enjoys going places. every time we go to the vet, she's always screaming for the whole night afterwards and trying to lead one of us to her crate so we can take her somewhere again. it's so cute

BIG BOY

actual name chocolate (spanish pronunciation). 8, shy but talkative. LARGE, like comically huge. he's 17 pounds and is really solid compared to his sister.

screams a lot. like a soup of a boy. shaped like a baked bean with legs. hates having things put on his head. flops in front of people for belly rubs a lot.

asshole to his sister and throws a tantrum when i don't let him smack her.

touches you with his little hands like a full tap and stares at you with the biggest eyes when he wants something. kneads like that too. we also don't know why he does this, but it's worse because we got him when he was a kitten. quite literally a strange little man even in childhood

real big fan of morning cuddles. yells at my door at the same time some mornings just for this.

HONORABLE MENTION: RAT

actual name is mocha but is mostly called böy (umlaut included). he's a little crusty demon in the shape of a white lady dog but it's ok we love him

hates my mom very passionately and i think he likes me, but he also really likes pissing on my stuff

technically my sister's. i tolerate his presence and sometimes babysit. he hates the beast so if i get on him for something, usually it's him trying to chase her for just changing positions.

afraid of really long objects and slippers that look like animals which is a little funny